I was just reading this article from InterFaithways about Ruth, who is held up as the "perfect convert" in the Torah. The article explains Ruth's story - how she converted to Judaism and married a Jew and how, when her husband dies, Ruth follows his mother to Bethlehem to start a new life with her. The article also points out that Ruth's history (as with most women in the Torah) is unknown and not explained, and that it appears that she breaks with her past completely when she adopts Judaism and, in turn, the family of her husband.
Is this the expectation of a perfect convert nowadays? I think it is reasonable to expect a Jewish convert to sever all ties with her former religion, but what to do about relationships with the family that still practices that religion? And how to celebrate religious holidays with that family? I feel fortunate not to come from a very religious family, and I don't think I would feel conflicted about celebrating Hanukkah in my home as a spiritual holiday while retaining Christmas at my parents' house as the secular holiday it's always been to me. But I wonder if it's difficult to find a Jewish community that really accepts as Jewish a woman who wasn't raised Jewish and who would not renounce her family to follow new relatives to Bethlehem. (If I had in-laws relocating to Paris or Tahiti, well. . . ) (Just joking, Mom!)
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